ikno- Her family’s flippancy towards pants, does NOT mean it’s not a cry for help! I’m kind of confused how you reached this conclusion. How does her family’s religious standards equal a stable home environment?
My thoughts are that maybe her cynicism towards you, may not be because of your role as an educator of values, but your role as an adult. If she’s had emotional neglect from her parents, she may have learned to be cynical to any adults so she wouldn’t have to deal with the pain.
(example: parents rarely home, or if they are, pay more attention to phone then to her)
There also may be abuse that goes on in the home, and cynicism to all adults is her way of blocking it out.
Now for some criticism. You asked for help with a problem child that you admittedly don’t know how to deal with. Yet, anything that was written in this forum with a hint of criticism, you seem to take as a personal attack on your entire career. People are questioning everything, including what you yourself contribute to her life. Understandably, people are going to question what you have done so far, your style, your education, etc. It’s to help this girl, which as her teacher should be your goal as well. Perhaps try ignoring any personal affronts, and just look at the criticism as an opportunity to self reflect on your own behavior/outlook.