Yitay: I mean normative in the meaning it takes as opposed to positive.
Normative: How things should be.
Positive: How things are.
In this context, I meant that they think it should be that way, as opposed to being willing to do it for strategic reasons. That is, I’ve never heard anyone support gay marriage for the reason you asserted above–most of my frum friends who support it think I’m basically a bigot for not.