Bustercrown – I feel very sorry for what you are going through. I hope things get better for you.
Some posters told you not to come here for advice, rather you should go to a Rav and therapist. I don’t think you really came here for us to tell you what to do. You probably just want some support and friendship, which I hope you are finding here. This is a good place to come for that. We can certainly give our opinions but the ultimate decision is yours, of course with the help of Rabbonim, professionals, family, friends who know more of your situation.
Also – some posters said you should absolutely not divorce. Of course, ideally, one hopes to stay married and “live happily ever after”. But guess what – this is not a fairy tale. Things happen. People divorce, unfortunately. No – I’m not advising you to do so. I’m just saying that sometimes that’s the only choice when all else has failed.
As far as the children go; is it better for them to see their parents unhappy and arguing or better for the parents to go their separate ways and have the kids spend hopefully good quality time with each one? Not an easy decision!
Only you (and those close to you) know your whole situation and hopefully will make the right choice for you and your children. I wish you all the best. May you have the strength to see this through.
Keep in touch here. We care about you.