You go to a talmid chochom with very much experience in Shalom Bayis issues.
Which wasn’t done here. She went to an unknown “Gadol”, who may or may not have any experience in the issues.
A big problem is when the family doesn’t have a “rov” with whom both sides feel comfortable. My Rov has told me that he will not discuss shailos that may affect shalom bayis without both sides present, let alone actual shalom bayis issues.