So this fellow I know who is from rural British Columbia (and a blazing awesome cook! Made the best mexican food I ever did have, C&G inclusive.) has a brother who was driving in some rural area late at night, and gets pulled over for something or another.
So the mountie asks him whether he has been “drinking.” “Yup.”
So the mountie arrests him and takes him all the way to the nearest town with a hospital, and gives him a blood test. The blood test comes back clean.
So mountie has wasted all this time, and confronts him: “You said you had been drinking!”
Brother says, “You didn’t ask me what I’d been drinking. Been drinking coffee, I have.”