cinderella – I don’t know if this dvar torah will answer your query but it touches your philosophical issue head on.
There is an incredible medrash that says Yisro wanted Moshe to marry Tzippora on the condition that they offer up their first born son to Avodah Zorah. And Moshe agreed, etc.
I heard a vort once, that how can Yisro, who finally saw the Truth of Hashem, and lies of Idols, make such a radical stipulation?? The answer is he felt that the way he lived his life is the way everyone should live. That the path he took, by tasting all forms of idols, is the most appropriate path to take on the road to discovering the Emes, the True G-d. And that growing up in a frum, jewish home from birth, being spoon-fed yiddishkeit from infancy, and not experiencing the challenges and taayvos of avoda zoros of the world is raising a child incorrectly by depriving him of the beautiful experience of overcoming taayvos! This of course was a wrong approach, and Moshe almost had his son killed, if not for Tzippora nullifying that ???? and grabbing a stone to immediately give their son a bris milah. We live a frum lifestyle because Hashem says to. That itself is greatness.
vort b’sheim R’Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l
you can view it here, (by Rabbi Frand)