There are many options you missed. Where to begin…..
“You should agree that: Nothing the boys are doing is limiting the options of the girls in any way.”
a) Actually, it is their inaction that limits their options, dont want to say no, say maybe, but I am pusruing another opportunity right now, no need to put 5 names on a list.
b) It is the shadchan really that should be faulted. Why give Yankel the names of 5 girls, give him one, or two at most. dont let him tie up 5 or more.
“Since, when a boy is approached with 5 girls within one week, it would really make little sense for him to say “yes” to one, and “no” to the others.”
He can only date one at a time. Nobody asks him to say no, rather, say “im pursuing something else, or I’m involved with someone else”, not put it in his back pocket “just in case”. What happens as a result is that the girl is held hostage on his list. this is also on the shadchan. Dont give Yankel 5 names, give him one or two.
“The only adjustment I could see made, would be for a guy who knows he will never go out with a girl to send back a “no.”
You dont see limiting the number of names a shadchan gives as an option? You dont see a shadchan saying, “you said yes to shprintse, so baila, faiga, sara and chana are being redt to others and if shprintze doesnt work out we can look into others”? these girls dont belong to Yankel, but by a shadchan giving the name to yankel, they are all held hostage on his “list”.
“It would depend on whether girls like getting rejected by guys they haven’t even asked to go out with”
This happens already, only shprintze doesnt know how many guys said no to her, or if the shadchan even mentioned her to any guys. Are you concerned that shprintzes feelings will be hurt if she says yes to yankel and he says no? Then to chaim, and he says no, then to berel and he says no?