I think that you both need help but I believe that by you taking the first step, you are on the right path to recovery. You are expressing yourself to all of us, hopefully unburdening yourself of some of your guilt feelings, a lot of these feelings coming from your terrible childhood. I hope you are lead to the right “shlichim” so that you, your husband, and your children can be healed quickly. Once again, hatzlocha raba. Keep us posted on your recovery and future successes in all your endeavors. I know you could do it, you do sound very sane and strong and willful.
