originial thinker
Ok, so now I’m an teensy bit confused…What exactly is your question? Are you saying that you’re afraid of death because you’ve done some things (“taryag avairot”)you shouldn’t have? Or that you’re afraid that your self image has become so distorted (“And if he can be so distorted in his thinking what about me?”) that you don’t know anymore if you’re doing/did good or bad….?