I have no idea where I heard this but it applies here.
Think of a farmer and a tailor. They are both supporting their families but in totally different ways. The farmer needs to milk the cows, and the tailor needs to sew. If the farmer gets a sewing machine it won’t be worth anything to him because he can’t use it.
Your life was specifically designed for you by the best Designer you could have asked for. He loves you more than anything and whatever you’re feeling now, He feels it even more.
(I also want to mention that the other “tops” could have also come with issues that would have come out later. You only have this part of the story.)
Hatzlacha