TO CHALILAVCHAS,
As a godol said, a large part depends on whether they had doubts and then drifted off or became not frum and then came up with questions.
To quote; ‘I have answers to questions, but no answers to answers.’
Sometimes unfortunately the heart filled with a desire leaves no room for the head to operate. On the other hand, a family member who has warm and fuzzy feeling for his family or at least somewhat pleasant memories, will usually be willing to listen.
And if that was not in the past, then make it so in the future. Send them a care package for friday night- but instead of gefilte fish put in shushi. drop them a note, invite them for simches, go out to eat, and dont preach then. build up a bank account of positive memories.
To critics I say; loving is not approving. and any teen or young adult knows that. ive dealt with them- they know. I love my fellow member of the tribe, I cant love my flesh and blood?
My knee jerk response is no one – not even in his yeshiva, pointed out the purpose and pleasantness of yiddishkiet. so he’s gone to find meaning elsewhere. he’s intelligent and possibly abhors doublestandards.
I venture to say it is only out of respect to you that he is willing to ask questions.
If so i would be willing to try to answer legitimate questions. (as Josef hatzadik said ‘biladai). May Hashem put the answer in my mouth – or in this case fingertips and spellcheck.
Might I add; under no circumstance beat yourself up. Remember this; Cheskiah hamelech built up the level of torah of klal yisroel tremendously (those who know) yet never the less his own grandson in spite of being forewarned by a novi no less, turned out to be the rasha king menashe. So dont nobody be uppity and preachy around here.
There for but the grace of Hashem go you.
PS I sent a message to EDITOR to give you my email address.
(PS you’re educated enough to put plural apostrophes where they belong, that gave credence to your sincerity) )