I’m actually with popa on this one! When I dated my husband he opened the car door for me, stood in front of it while I entered the car (i.e. with the car door between me and him), and then closed it for me. When we entered a door, he entered first, holding the door open for me behind him. If the door opened towards him, he held it until I entered the room. If it opened toward the outside, I would hold the door as I entered so he could let go and we wouldn’t have an awkward “traffic jam”! I knew this Halacha, and I assumed that’s how all people who were shomer halacha did it.
mikehall — The “other guy’s” rebbe is quoted as saying he should open the car door. That is very easily done without violating this Halacha, as has been explained. He is not addressing the issue of going through doorways, which involves walking behind a woman, which is the Halachic problem.
Middlepath — What “stringency” are you referring to that people are considering more important than manners? Not walking behind a woman is Halacha, not a “stringency”. I am completely confused by your original post. Why would someone not be obligated to keep Halacha unless he “mastered all of tanach, never speaks L”H. . . ” as you say? If this is Halacha, it is not something you can “take upon yourself” — we all took it upon ourselves to follow Halacha at Har Sinai!!!! (That doesn’t mean one can’t open a door under certain circumstances, such as when the door enters inward and the man goes first and holds it for her — as long as it follows Halacha)