Has your husband ever done anything that was discourteous”
Never ONCE in the 34 years I have known him (got engaged 34 years ago on Tu B’shvat), has he EVER been discourteous to ANYONE, least of all, me. Oh, we have gotten angry with each other over the years, but he has never done anything rudely or obnoxiously. I cannot say the same for myself, but I am working on it 😉
As to the example you mentioned about the Middle Eastern belcher – Bochur, we are not Arabs in the Middle East, and in any case, behavior that is acceptable in some place else, does not make it acceptable to others. You are an intelligent person, I can see that. But you are arguing about nonsense right now. The bottom line is that MOST people expect, deserve, and are happy to see others act in ways which are pretty much universally established here as being the right thing to do. If a girl truly does not want you to walk her to her door, she IS acting in a way which most girls (who have not been brainwashed into thinking it is untzniusdig somehow)would find it inconsiderate on the part of the boy. If she fails to say thank you to him, then most guys would probably find her unappreciative. If two people do not act in an accepted minimally considerate manner when they are dating and presumably trying to impress each other, then there is no hope they will do so after marriage. I am not a bigot; I am not arrogant (if you knew me personally, you would know this to be emes). I am however, a strong proponent of derech eretz, and I see it lacking in a spectacular way among the present young generation. I am not pointing a finger of fault at anyone. Just making an observation.