just a practical question… while some of these ideas may be beneficial, they are only theoretical inasmuch as HOW are you going to get people to agree to this? No way anyone will agree to this.
What about those people who agree upfront to go on two dates before saying no (unless something really really wrong)… but if you “just don’t feel something” or “its just not right”- wait until after date 2 so that you both can get a clearer picture of the other one and you are not just basing it off of nerves. Then, if I was the girl, and we did pay after 2 dates, we’d really be paying after every guy! maybe if you hit date 4 then you can pay up but i guess it would have to be arranged for each shidduch differently…