I sometimes wonder if emptiness or having too many questions are the only reasons that some choose to opt out. Perhaps it is a lifestyle choice. A kid in his late teens begins to think – “Is this really what I want? I see my father looking old before his time, struggling to pay tuition and meet other expenses. My mother must work so hard to raise so many children. I look around and see others from smaller families who have a much easier time. Do I really want to be a clone of my father? Actually, I have always wanted to be a writer (or firefighter or police officer or forest ranger or whatever) and that usually does not fit a frum lifestyle. Do I just want to live my life wearing a dark suit and going to shul 3 times a day. “
Forgive the rambling but I actually think that some of these reasons could be why they leave. What I think is unfortunate is that many of them drop out of Judaism completely rather than “ramp down” on their Judaic practices. Is it because they have been taught that there is no other Judaism except the frum type? It is a big problem and we are losing far too many of our best and brightest. I only wish that I had the intelligence or knowledge of how to begin to solve the problem.