Last year Rabbi Reisman pointed out that since women are voluntarily “suspending their kesuba rights” (not how he put it, can’t remember his words) by supporting their husbands they’d do well to excel in the areas left, such as kavod.
Recently I read something, can’t remember where, of a yungerman who went to an early morning shiur, above and beyond the intense learning he was doing, so that his wife, who had such a hard day ahead of her, shouldn’t feel resentful of his being able to sleep a little longer.
A bit of chochma on every side will go far. Yeah, we’ve been taught not to be the mashgiach, rather to be the facilitator, for want of a better word, but as long as there are young women going out with boys, who’ve never held a summer or part time job or been accountable to anyone, who have no plan or ideas or tentative road map for their lives, this disparity will be a problem.