This aishes chayil here didnt marry just any guy. She married the next Rosh Yeshiva, her parents hocked their financial future to guarantee support for the best guy in the yeshiva and she is busting her tuchas, not for a guy, who is in the growth stage, for that they could have had anyone, they went all out for the next Rosh Yeshiva.
There is so much wrong with that. I did not miss your sarcasm, but perhaps you inadvertantly arrived at the crux of the issue.
If the girl married someone even for his “potential” to be the gadol hador, even if she allows 35 years for him to get there, it is a recipe for disaster. Even if the goal is 35 years off, there are definitely going to be progress checks.
There is only one way it can work. That is if the girl married, and busts her kishkes for, the man she married – for the sake of what he is learning and accomplishing RIGHT NOW. Not for what he is doing now as a stepping stone to some goal. Not for what he may be after X years in learning. Now, and only now. This way, if he eventually leaves kollel it is not a failure. If at any point she is not satisfied with what he is doing RIGHT NOW there is a problem.