“does anyone else see why this is hilarious ? :D”
Yes.
“It’s usually ok to go the beach at 5 AM. Just be out by 6. “
No, it really is not ok. There are no lifeguards on duty at that time, so you are oveir v’nishmartem m’eod es nafshoseichem. Have you forgotten what happened to that little girl in Far Rockaway a few years ago. She was standing in knee deep water when a rip current took her off and she drowned. That was before 9 AM and in full view of her family.