It is important to take turns with each and give each alone time and each should know that “now is “x” time to go alone with mommy or tatty. Make a calendar so each gets to see when it is their turn with each parent. On their turn let them choose what they would like to do for instance go for ice cream, go to the park, take a long ride in the car, go for a walk, etc. There won’t be jealousy because each one will know that their turn will come.
It is also important to have “house” rules. WE don’t use foul language and we don’t hit in this house, there is a time out for anyone who hits, no questions asked. And have a special place and chair for the time out, with a timer. When the time is over sit down and ask the child or both children what the disagreement was about, why they chose to hit, and what they could have done differently instead of hitting. This can be done with any issue such as taking another child’s toy, ripping a book, so on and so forth. The time out is used to both calm down the child and calm down the parent so they don’t lash out in anger with a million and one hurtful comments and consequences they can’t follow through on. So in addition to the time out for children it is important for parents to take two breaths before reacting.
Getting back to the sensitive child, one must allow a child to feel what they feel because feelings are not right or wrong they are just there, so the point is to get to the root of the feelings. Why are they being so sensitive? What is the basis? Is there a lack of self-confidence or self-esteem? Do they think less of themselves than of their siblings? Do they think their sibling is smarter, stronger, bigger, more capable? Is he being bullied in school?
You might be teaching him not to fight and he isn’t, but the kids in school are being so aggressive that he is confused. Everyone else is being “normal” and he is being a sissy or acting like a girl. So how exactly is he supposed to behave. Unless you ask him about what is actually going on in his class, who his friends are and what goes on, you are not going to hear his side of things, his views on the subject and what is really going on his his heart and in his mind.