I have relatives who meet their husbands/wives once or twice before they marry them; the main difference is expectations.
Getting engaged on other people’s word of middos is moronic. Do you know how many guys I dated that were supposed to be “selfless, giving…” blah blah and proved otherwise on the very first date? (But we only called 2 ref the most)
The guys I did no research about turned out to have better middos than the ones who promised to be sooo nice and special and yadda yadda.