“Just wondering if you could clarify- Moish has clearly written that he smokes, and you assert that one day he will be a very lucky lady’s son-in-law. Reading of your very strong feelings towards marrying someone who smokes, I am curious about the incongruity here. Are you assuming Moish will have given up smoking by then due to reading your compelling and strong positions on this thread? Or are there exceptions, such as when a young man is intelligent and funny, the smoking isn’t such a deterrent after all? “
If you recall, Moish was making the (wink, wink) comment that he couldn’t be my son-in-law or grandson-in-law. My response to that, ebcause I think Moish is a terrific young man from what I have read, in terms of his intelligence, humor, etc. is that though he would not be MY s-i-l, he will someday be someone else’s, and they will be fortunate, because he’s got a lot going for him. If he gives up the smoking, even more so! I stand by my own assertion that for my family,smokers are a major turn off in the shidduch world. It would not prevent me from feeling affection for such a person, but I would never want to meshadeich the mothers of my future grandchildren with them, either. The fact that they continue to smoke in the face of EVERYTHING bad that we know about the effects of smoking on the individual, the family, and the environment, suggests to me a person who is not appropriate for our particular family, though they may be great guys.
And yeah, I REALLY hope Moish gives up smoking. I want him to live a long and healthy, happy life.