To rescue
You question how Yirah can mean both awe and fear. So let me ask you a better question, “How could Dovid Hamelech write in one chapter of Tehilim, “Ivdu es Hashem Bisimcha” but in another “Ivdu es Hashem Biyirah?” Was he schizophrenic Chas Veshalom?” Shlomo Hamelech provides the answer in Kohelet,”there’s a time for fear and a time for joy etc.” Hashem gave human beings broad personalities and we’re expected to express that variety in our lives. Therefore. there’s a time to fear Hashem and a time to celebrate with Hashem. There’s no contradiction. Of course, you have to act properly at the proper time. That should answer your question. I await the answer to the query I posed to you. It doesn’t seem to me that you have inculcated Torah values and Hashkafah, but I will give you the opportunity to respond before I pass judgment.