I don’t think you are a bad person, maybe just a little overly nervous. Baruch Hashem you are still alive and well. Hashem already protected Klal Yisroel, including your ancestors, through 2000 years of persecution, pogroms, crusades, inquisitions, plagues, expulsions, wars, and who knows what else. ?? ?? ???????? ??? ?? ???????? ????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ?????. Only for the last 80 or so years in America and similar countries have we become accustomed to not usually having to deal with those things. I cannot speak on behalf of Hashem, but He may very well want us to wake up and do Teshuvah, to become better in some way. That is the Jewish response to adversity from the Avos down to today. Hashem is always in control, and even in the worst of circumstances if it was bashert for someone to survive, Hashem made sure he survived. Why sometimes there were Yidden who were killed ???, is Hashem’s business. But even then, we believe that was their tikkun and they were zocheh to Olam Haba. For now, America is still better than almost any other Golus ever was. But if the going gets tough, then it’s time for more Emunah, not less.
The best eitzah is to daven. Rebbe Nachman of Breslev taught that anyone can speak to Hashem in his/her own words, and doing so itself builds one’s Emunah. According to the Rambam (Hilchos Tefillah 1, 1) this is the ikkar mitzvah d’oraysa of Tefillah. (Even before the three regular Tefillos every day were established by Anshei Knesses Hagedola.)