none2.0- Why do you think catch yourself never struggled? Do you know anyone who never struggled? Maybe it looks on the outside, but not really.
And honestly, despite you saying that people are only happy once they are free, unshackled, and use morality as a guide, you seem unhappy, bitter, and angry at the world. You have a twisted view of frum people. Frum people are not perfect.
There may be a few elitist people, but the majority are good, hard-working humans who are juggling life, with its struggles and just trying their best.
And like all humans (Jewish and non-Jewish, frum and not frum), they were all born with different traits, good and bad. Some tend to be nasty, some selfish, some look down at others (though usually that comes from insecurity). And while rich people may get more kavod, nice (AND REAL) people are more well-liked and have more true friends.
Hopefully, frum people are constantly working to improve themselves, trying to be more connected with God and with themselves and trying to use their negative traits for the good.
If you think the non-Jewish world is a happier, better place to live, I ask you to look up where there are the highest suicide rates.
Personally, at one of my jobs, I’ve dealt with many non-Jewish people and became friendly with some. One thing I learnt is that there is a different type of conformity. It’s just less visible on the outside. And their high school kids, forget it, must go to the right college, have the right sneakers, shop in the right stores. And the boyfriends/girlfriend system causes tons of pressure. I remember one of their kids telling me- “What- you had no boys in your school at all? Really, you’re lucky, cuz it’s massive competition and a huge pressure”
We (whoever you are) are all human, and peer pressure is something everyone must work on. Before every decision to think “am I doing this cuz I think it’s the right thing for me or because I feel like I must due to outside pressure?”
I ask you to look around and find frum people who value you for who you are. But I also ask you to be kind to other people (even elitist ones), because everyone is going through their own struggles.