“I was arguing that the Shidduch crisis does not affect females more than males, since for every female who does not get married there must also be a man who does not get married.”
You’re still incorrect. The minhag in the Litvish community is for girls to be 5-7 years younger than their husbands, which means there will be a surplus of whichever gender is younger, in this case the women. If the minhag was for 19 year old boys to marry 25 year old women, then the shidduch crisis would exist in the other direction.
“In the early 2000s (or maybe the 1990s) I asked dozens of shadchanim:”
And they gave you answers that prove what we all already know: that they’re part of the problem.