CS: “As far as arrogant etc, a few of my friends who became lubavitch told me how they found it so refreshing- instead of doing Torah and mitzvos for themselves (to become the best ever, get Olam Haba, get closest to Hashem etc) they now put the focus on the other way around- what can I do to help make a dirah for Hashem?”
Isn’t that also selfish, albeit on a lesser level? They are happier and feeling refreshed.