I realize many will find this unsavory, but this has absolutely nothing to do with rabbi tendler a”h; The statement that rav Moshe would have allowed women to learn gemara is untrue, as rav moshe said that this is not even a question and wondered why the questioner bothered to ask, when it’s something explicitly forbidden by gemara and rishonim. His statements had nothing to do with feminism or any other issue; it was simply because the gemara said not to.
This has nothing to do with the kovod of the niftar; such statements must be responded to, no matter what the context.
I think it was inappropriate for AAQ to quote that story and then put others in a situation where keeping quiet is harmful to readers and calling it out is unsavory.