“You are you in a tough position and are seeking help. The problem isn’t you. The problem is that the community has failed you. ”
This is 100% true. My guess is that a lot of the posters attacking the OP probably have some tznius problems to sort out in their own lives. Truth hurts. The OP is doing a good thing by getting this issue out in the open online. We wouldn’t even be talking about a tzius crisis in a place like Riverdale, or some random OOT place with a Conservative/Reform community. The only reason this is relevant is because the Five Towns are allegedly frum. My proposed solution to the problem: give up the fantasy. Sweep it under the rug. The Five Towns didn’t pan out; just let it become Riverdale 2.0. The non-tznius, anti-halachah crowd have to live somewhere, better that they have their own enclaves than ruin our communities.