Syag, you did a wonderful job, excellent post.
Bochur, I really don’t have much to add only that HaShem, the only one to whom it matters, knows the inner recesses of your heart. ?? ???? ???? ?????? ??’ ???? ????, so people in your environs can never know your deepest chambers of your heart. How are they to know the level of Teshuvah you’ve undertaken. Continue in your new path, be “fest” about it, strive for new heights. Eventually the right one will come…